Let me start with something slightly embarrassing. At 31, I found out I had never once worn the right bra size. And finding out felt like a small revolution.
Let me back up.
Since moving to Australia, my body has changed. I gained weight, and honestly, I have been shamed for it more times than I can count. A childhood friend I hadn’t seen in 15 years took one look at me and said I looked different. I told them I was very active now, that I lift heavy weights at the gym, that my makeup jobs are physically demanding, that I don’t get sick and I feel great. They still looked at me with pity. That one stayed with me for a while.
Meanwhile, people here tell me I’m sexy, that I have a great bum, all of that. Nobody ever mentioned that I was suddenly quite busty. And weirdly, even with all the compliments, I didn’t feel great. I never liked the way my boobs looked once I gained weight, and I just assumed that was how it was going to be.
Then a good friend asked me a simple question: “What’s your bra size?”
And I realised I had no idea. I had never been properly fitted in my life. I still thought I was a 36C or a 38B, because that was what I had always bought.
So I used an online calculator : https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator and it told me I was an DD/E/F cup. I honestly thought, seriously? But I tried some bras on and it was right. I am a 14DD, a 14E or a 12F depending on the brand. D cup? E cup? F cup?? Am I in the big boob girls gang now?
Here is the part that blew my mind. Cup letters mean nothing without the band size. Two different cups can hold the exact same volume. So actually my size is pretty common! But the bra industry is the one that trying to minimise the SKUs and try to sell the available product!
Then I bought a few new bras, and OH MY GOD. What is this sorcery? I have NEVER had a bra this comfortable. It hugs perfectly. It is SO COMFORTABLE (yes, I said it twice, I mean it twice).
And in that moment I realised something a bit sad and a bit wonderful. You can be 31 years old and feel comfortable in your own body for the first time, just because you changed a number on a tag. This whole time I felt uncomfortable, and part of it was just the wrong size.
It was not only comfort, either. It was confidence. I was honestly surprised at how good my boobs looked in a bra that actually fit. Something I had been quietly annoyed at for years suddenly looked great, and I had done nothing except stop squeezing them into the wrong thing.
Okay, but what does this have to do with self love?
More than you would think.
For years I treated a lot of things about myself as problems to fix. My body, my energy, my quirkiness, the way I am jumpy and yappy and out there and always singing. It takes people about two seconds to notice how much energy I have, and for a long time I saw that as a weakness.
But the bra thing made me stop and think. When I put on the right size, something switched in me. I suddenly felt like I was on top of the world. It was such a girly feeling, a bit giddy and a bit powerful, like I could walk into any room and own it. And I still do not fully understand how something as simple as comfort can turn into that much confidence. I always thought confidence had to come from somewhere big, like achievements or a perfect body or being liked by everyone. Instead it came from a piece of fabric that finally fit.
Then it hit me. It was never me that did not fit. It was the thing I was wearing. I had spent years assuming I was the problem, when I had just been in the wrong size all along, in more ways than one.
Maybe the discomfort was never about me being wrong. Maybe it was about not being in the right fit: the right people, the right clients, the right environment. Once I stopped squeezing myself into what I thought I was supposed to be, everything started to feel more comfortable, and more confident.
And that is exactly what I want to give my clients.
So many people sit in my chair feeling like they do not fit. Some feel anxious about wearing makeup at all. Some have been told they are too much, too loud, too emotional, too big, too anything. Some have spent so long trying to shrink themselves that they have forgotten what comfortable even feels like.
I get it, because I have been there. So when you book with me, my job is not to cover you up or change you into someone else. My job is to listen, make you feel at ease, and help you feel like the most comfortable, confident version of yourself. Consider me your right-size person. You belong here, exactly as you are.
If you want to try this yourself
- Get measured properly, either at a good lingerie shop or with an online calculator like the one I used: https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator
- Remember your size can change with weight, age and hormones, so recheck every so often
- Try a few brands, because sizing varies and your sister sizes (like my 14DD, 14E and 12F) may fit differently in each
- Do not feel silly if you find out you have been wearing the wrong size for years. I did too, and I wish I had checked sooner
Go and get fitted. Your body has probably been trying to tell you something and it might change your life. Seriously.
